Look, diving turns even the most sophisticated adult into a weird ocean goblin. We’ve all done it. We just don’t talk about it. Until now.
1. The “Sniff Test” of Doom
You’ve 100% sniffed a wetsuit before putting it on. We all have. And 100% regretted it every single time. Why? Because it always smells like feet, neoprene, and suspiciously like someone did not wait until after the dive to pee. And yet, you sniff again next time, like a toxic relationship with your own curiosity.
2. Conversations Entirely in Hand Signals
Divers will 100% keep signing underwater after the dive is over. Back on the boat? Still doing the turtle hand sign. Ordering food? Signaling “okay” with far too much confidence. Hanging out in a bar? “Look at that!” becomes a dramatic underwater-style point-and-wave. No one else knows what you're doing, but you feel deeply fluent in ocean charades.
3. Calling Fish by Pet Names
"There's Mike Tyson" (titan triggerfish).
"Look, Mr. Flappy Flap is back!" (batfish).
“I love this sassy potato” (porcupine puffer).
We know their real names - we just refuse to use them. Marine biology? Respect. But marine nicknames? Personality.
4. Randomly Floating in the Shower
If you've ever stood under a warm shower and practiced your hover, welcome to the club. Bonus points if you do it with your eyes closed and hand out, pretending to feed an imaginary cleaner wrasse. Yes, your non-diver roommate thinks you’re a bit unwell. No, you don’t care.
5. Forgetting the Names of Land Animals
What's that furry thing? A “land fish?” Oh wait, a dog. Yeah, you forgot. You now know 47 types of nudibranchs, but the word for “goose” escapes you. It’s a fish bird. A waterless swan. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You saw a frogfish today and it winked at you, and that’s all that counts.
6. Pretending You Don’t Pee in Wetsuits
Let’s get real. Most divers pee in their wetsuits. Some deny it. Others embrace it like a warm ocean hug. There are stages: denial, shame, acceptance, and finally, pride. You know you’ve crossed over when you say “don’t borrow that one” and laugh like a villain.
7. Developing Dive-Specific Superstitions
Your dive goes better if you wear your lucky rashie. Or if you high-five your fin before backrolling. Or if you sing a specific pre-dive song (“Aqua” or “Baby Shark” - we’re not judging). You once saw a whale shark iat Koh Tao after eating mango sticky rice, and now it’s ritual. Is any of it real? No. Are you doing it anyway before every dive in Koh Tao? Absolutely.
Bonus: Making Friends with Fish
You've made eye contact with a grouper and felt something. You've waved at a blenny. You’ve named a cleaner shrimp Gary. You’re emotionally attached to that one parrotfish who always seems slightly late to the party. You’re now officially a weirdo - and we love that for you.
Diving in Koh Tao? Get ready to meet a fun bunch of ocean lovers who name their favourite fish, chill in hammocks calling it “buoyancy practice,” and share mask defog tips like trade secrets. It’s all about good vibes, great dives, and a bit of silly fun along the way.
